A postdated post

Wrote this post such a long time back that I nearly forgot all abt posting it. :p

Here goes:

By the time this post sees the light of day, I should at least be 2 months along if not more. How soon this post gets posted will depend on how observant my friends are and how good my acting skills are.

Today is the 19 Apr. I am seated in a familiar clinic, getting myself weighed and blood pressure taken. We found out last night that I am pregnant. :) Truth be told, it was a piece of news that was received with mixed feelings. While we have not been actively preventing this, Doppy and I did agree that we will dicuss it and make a decision during our ME weekend. Now that it is here, we are left with no choice.

In a way, I am rather glad that the decision has been taken out of my hands. I have always wanted 2 kids but I know that doppy was inclined towards one due to financial consideration. He is a worry wart by nature and short of handing the world on a plate to his children, he thinks that we are short changing them and we are not giving them the best that they deserve. Topmost of his considerations is of course an overseas college education. He is adamant that by hook or by crook he will send his kids abroad and because he doesn't want to choose between them, he very much rather have just one kid and strive to provide for sonny.

I actually came out of the bathroom with trepediation cos I know that he will receive the news of No.2 v differently from the way we received news of no.1. While he was not crestfallen per se, I cd also tell that he was not as ecstatic abt the news 2 yrs 9mo ago. When I sat down on the bed next to him, my first question was, "Wd u want me to consider an abortion?" Thankfully his answer was a resounding no and he proceeded to chide me for my silliness. His mental gears did kick into overdrive rather immediately and he started thinking abt the logistical problems (where to place the new cot) and changes to our lives ahead (oh sex drought and sleep deprivation gonna start again. Endless diaper changing and wailing sessions again).

Yet by the end of the conversation, he told me that he loved me and for the first time in a long while, he hugged me to sleep. And this morning, he kept reminding me to go get myself checked out at the gynae even tho we both knew exactly what she wd say (Congrats. Don't worry. Whatever will be will be.) While he has to be at work and not be able to see the doc w me, he kept messaging to ask me to update him on e visit. And while he said that he doesn't think he can love no.2 e way he loves sonny, he kept insisting that no.2 must get whatever no.1 got (and that includes a new cot even if we do not have the space for it). And al these things assure me that no2 will come to know his/her dad's love just as sonny did.

And u know something? If all goes well, no2 shall be a dec baby. I cannot help but remember the first one that I lost 4 yrs ago. That was supposed to be a dec baby and our
Xmas gift too. God has not forgotten all these years and now he is choosing to bless us w ano Xmas child.

Life is good. While the days ahead will def be harder ones with an additional kiddo in the mix, I know that we will be happy as a family with god's grace and blessings. Thank you Lord for your blessings and we remain grateful for your precious gift always. :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

This email made my day!

There I was, trying desperately to clear my emails, juggling the multiple documents that I have opened on my desktop and basically getting stressed out over the numerous school visits that I need to do without the necessary time to do them.

Then I received the following email:

Dear mummy and daddy,

Here's a brief update about XT and the activities we had so far.
I just want to share with you a piece of good news!
I think XT is slowly adapting and settling down. (:
On Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, while I was conducting the activities, XT was able to follow and participate. He stopped crying.

On Monday, Toddler Zinnia had a fun time enhancing his fine and gross motor. For BusyHands, XT transferred water from one container to another container using a sponge. He was able to transfer all the water and continued his actions till I said it's his friends turn to do it.

Today, I read a book "If you're happy and you know it" to the children. XT was able to sit down and listen to the short story. At the end of it, I asked them to choose an animal for them to do their animal mask next week. XT picked an elephant for his mask. (:
We also did a Squiggle Painting. I introduced string and a chopstick to them. They chooses their own colour and painted on the drawing paper provided. XT was so engrossed doing the painting till he refuses to wash his hands for lunch. *smiling*

Ok, I think that's all for today.

And that email brought some tears to my eyes and a smile to my face.

Belated Post about my Belated Birthday Celebration

Though doppy took me out for a good meal last week and gave me some most wonderful pressies, he still thought to celebrate my bd for me on the actual day itself.

Unfortunately, I could not apply for leave as I had to attend a course at office and he also had class on Wednesday evening, which was the actual day of my birthday.

However, we kinda arranged for us to have a simple celebration at home with just a slice of cake for symbolism's sake.

The night before, some of my former students visited me and they also bought me a lovely cake. :) Twas real sweet of them considering that they are currently in their JC2 year and I only taught them for a year in Secondary 2. Nevertheless, I had a special connection with some of the students from this particular cohort and they have made it a habit to pay me a visit for CNY all these years.

But I digress.

When doppy saw the cake that my students bought, he quipped, "Oh great. Tomorrow I don't need to get you a cake liao. We can just use this cake to sing you a birthday song."

I rolled my eyes at him and demanded that I want our son to sing me a birthday song as a birthday present. Doppy confidently said, "No prob. He would even sing it in French!"

Come Wednesday evening, we both had a tough day and I was kinda looking forward to the mini celebration.  So when I saw that doppy came to fetch me empty-handed, I was a little disappointed. I thought that he had forgotten his promise to me, which was to get me a slice of cake, but I told myself not to be petty.

It turned out that he did indeed get me a cake. Twas just that he was fighting so many fires at work that he clean forgot to PICK UP the cake on his way to class. :O He apologised profusely to me and promised to make it up to me the next evening with the cake.

All this while, I thought that he was just getting me a slice of normal cake. Imagine my surprise when I saw this the next evening:

I wish I could share the cake with everyone. It was a most exquisite and delicious cake. The longans were fresh (F and my grandma said that they were canned longans but they really tasted fresh to me!) and the almond mousse was aromatic and the cake was infused with just the right amount of it. I was very touched that he was thoughtful enough to buy such a special cake for me. Truly, this year, is the first year that he has put so much thought for my birthday.

And if you are wondering how the birthday song rendition went, Doppy sang, "ball ball ball ball ball ball" to the tune of "Happy Birthday" while XP clapped his hands happily at the sight of cake. :) Doppy insisted that that "ball" was "happy birthday to you" in french. Sometimes, I think he really thinks that I am quite intellectually challenged.

But I was grinning from ear to ear lah. :) So I guess I am not that smart afterall.

Thanks, darling, for that lovely cake and a most lovely birthday this year.

He loves me so

As my birthday falls on a weekday this year, and on a day when I could not take leave and he has class at night, Doppy decided to celebrate my birthday yesterday.

A week ago he was still complaining about being stressed out over my present. He lamented that I was very difficult to get gifts for since (1) I don't have a hobby like PJ (just buy Swatch; can't go wrong) or (2) like jewellery (he thinks jewellery are cop-out gifts) or (3) have any real needs in my life (I already have way too many tech toys for my own good).

And so, I took pity on him and told him that actually, I have been looking for a chain. Since my last, one and only chain broke, I do not have a chain to wear my wedding ring round my neck (no can fit my fat finger after birthing XP) or the beautiful pendants that friends and him have bought for me.

And so yesterday when he said that he needed to go Vivocity and had his usual sheepish look on, I kinda guessed that he was going to get me a chain. For once, he told me to go shopping on my own and took our son with him while I went to the bookstore by myself.

We went to a really lovely Italian restaurant at Duxton Road last night for a very good dinner. He knows that I like pasta and really went through some effort (I believe he should have asked some of you for input) to find this restaurant to take me to. I wanted to take pictures to share with all but alas I could not find my camera just yet (yes, yes, today I am going to pack up the place). But we had a most lovely time and the food was very good.

While waiting for our mains to arrive, he asked me if I wanted my present. I, of course, said yes. And out popped a Goldheart Jewellery box. I opened it and saw a chain and was very happy that he got it for me. He was still complaining the other day that chains were very expensive. However, when I tried to take the chain out to wear, I realised that there was a BEAUTIFUL pendant attached to it. I was very, very surprised. :) He claimed that it was the shop assistant's fault for not arranging it well but I suspect that it was due to the box being jingled around in his pants' pockets. It is a most lovely pendant and he told me that he spent a long time choosing it, no easy feat with a squirming son in his hands, crying ma-ma, ma-ma all the while.

And then he said, "This is actually the not-so romantic gift" and I went, huh? Diamonds are not still romantic ah? He decided to keep me in suspense for a little while more and we had our mains and savoured our pasta with wine.

The conversation then took a strange turn. Out of the blue, he asked me if I knew who George Bernard Shaw was. I, of course, gave him an incredulous look and asked him, "You mean you do not know who George Bernard Shaw is?" He looked down at his plate and wore his usual wry smile and I decided that I should not be so condescending especially in a night when he has just bought me diamonds and wined and dined me. And so I said, "Eh .. you know, the rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain ... " and he said, "Oh! That play!" and I went, "Yep, My Fair Lady which is adapted from Pygmalion which is George Bernard Shaw's famous work. That's who he is. A famous playwright." And he went, "Oh .. is it? I have never heard of him leh." and I went, "It's ok lah .. you are an engineer. If you were a Lit student, then it wd not have been forgivable lah. There are certain canonical figures that one should know, even if one may not have actually read their works." and the conversation meandered to Broadway plays.

After we were done with our mains, he then asked me if I wanted the more romantic presents he got for me before our dessert arrive and I said, sure. Out came a paper bag and in it, was the following book:

And before your dirty mind starts wondering what kind of exercises the book contains, it's literally, exercises in WRITING style.

Exercises in Style, written by Raymond Queneau (in French, the original title is Exercices de style) is a collection of 99 retellings of the same story, each in a different style. In each, the narrator gets on the "S" bus (now no. 84), witnesses an altercation between a man (a zazou) with a long neck and funny hat and another passenger, and then sees the same person two hours later at the Gare St-Lazare getting advice on adding a button to his overcoat. (Wikipedia)

I thought it was a real cool book and was real tickled by it as I flipped through some of the pages. I know a couple of the styles that it was written in but some others, I would probably have to google for them.

And that's when he said, "That's the semi-romantic gift cos I figured that it would appeal to the geeky side of you. Now this is the one that I think is the most romantic."

Can you guess what it is?

That's right. He got me a book by George Bernard Shaw. But mind you, it was not just any book. It was not his famous plays but rather a anthology of his prose (which apparently was very well-written but very little has been made of them as he was more famous for his plays). And it was not just any anthology of his prose, it was a Longman FIRST edition of the book published almost half a decade ago! I went ga-ga over it!

He was very pleased to see that I was so taken with the book. He even said that he should not bothered with the diamonds since they cost so much more and yet the marginal utility of returns could not beat an old, musty hard cover book. I told him that I like all the presents but they all appeal to different parts of me. But I must admit that the GBS book was my favourite present. He lamented that the place which yielded his find could only be used once since he could not jolly well give me another antique book for my present next year. I told him he might have just started me on a slippery slope to collecting antique books (my first one was given to me by my fellow Literature colleague, the guru, who bought me a poetry anthology that was published in the 1930s) and his challenge would lie in figuring out which titles to buy for subsequent years. He was so happy to see that I like my presents so much and sat in his seat brimming with pride. :)

The evening ended off with "Monsters vs Aliens" which was thoroughly enjoyable.

Though the evening was spent in a rather uneventful way, I was most happy last night. I am very touched by the thought that was put into my gifts and though he had a fair bit of luck to help him (he stumbled upon the antique section in the bookstore by accident and chose the GBS book based purely on instincts), I was nevertheless very touched that he would spend monies to buy me something that some others would have probably thought it silly to do so.

But he knows me so well.

I love you, darling. Thanks for all the lovely presents and a most wonderful evening spent with you. As we clinked our wine glasses last night, "To this and may there be many more to come".

Thanks, baby.

A beachy holiday

Yes, yes, ... this blog post is long overdue and for those of you who are doppy's friends on fb, you have already probably seen some photos of our trip. However, even if a picture paints a thousand words, nothing beats reading my ramblings, right? :) At least, if you are bored out of your mind at work, this is one post that you can read to keep yourself awake. :P

To cut to the chase, it has been 2 years since doppy and I last had a holiday. Doppy has been trying to get me to go for a holiday since eons ago and since we both had some leave to clear, we decided to do a short weekend getaway. After polling all our friends, it appeared that (1) 3D2N was way too short for us to go to Australia, (2) Bangkok and KL are kinda out of the picture cos doppy is not that into shopping, (3) Sentosa isn't quite far enough and so it seemed like we were left with (4) Bintan Beach Resort. Of course the other competing beach resort would be Bali but since I was al cheapo and didn't want to take a flight for such a short holiday, Bintan was the default choice.

All who know doppy (and me) kinda predicted that we are not really 'beachy' people. And thus it should come as no surprise to all that our 3D2N trip was essentially more of a 2D2N trip. :P We did originally intend to leave on late Sunday evening and I even asked the resort for a late checkout. I even booked the last ferry out from Bintan and doppy was going to make alternative arrangements for his bread delivery programme. However, by the end of the first day, we were running out of things to do. There was only that much food and beer we can consume and as for 'happy happy times', there was also a limit to our stamina. :P So the loser-us came back early on Sunday morning instead and ended up catching "Angels and Demons" in Singapore.

Now that we have gotten the loserish part of the trip out of the way, let's move on the good things! :) We both had a most enjoyable time and really, this trip has also made it to one of our memorable trips together (and no, it is not because we do not go away enough together!). Besides the most delicious food, cheap beer and fantastic scenery, what we enjoyed most was each other's undivided attention and kindness towards each other. Yes, kindness. It might seem like a strange word to use but that was truly how I felt. When we were there, time did not matter and there no chores to be done. There was no schedule to keep (except dinner reservations and even that was really to catch the sunset), no errands to run, no families to entertain, no little rascal to run after and yelled at (though we did miss him like crazy! and saw him in every little boy on the beach), no work to bug us, no nothing! Just the sun, the sea, the beach, the food, the beer and us. And we were so kind to each to other, not just in our words (not that I was counting but doppy did not make a single sacarstic remark to me on the entire trip!) but also in our acts of service and love to each other. We discussed what we would like to do amicably, we decided on things to do in an unrushed, unhurried, most compromising manner, we held hands as we walked on the beach (nope, didn't swim in the sea cos doppy said that the red flag was up and he did not want our child to be orphaned by jellyfishes), we reaffirmed our love for each other and we shared our thoughts and dreams over good food and beer. These things might not seem like much but somehow when we are in Singapore, our lives always seemed to be spent in such a rush, with one person or the other being so easily irritated by some action of the other, with our words being short and curt and our manners left much to be desired. Truly, those two days and two nights were such great ones (kinda reminded us how we got from dating to marriage) that nowadays when we catch the other party not exactly being loving, we will say, "Can we please go back to the Bintan days?"

If you had begun reading this post thinking that you were going to read all about Bintan, so so sorry to have disappointed you. :P Since I believe that all readers of our blog have been to Bintan earlier than us (twas both our first trip there), and are much more outdoorsy and seasporty people than us, there is no point in my writing about Bintan since your first-hand experience is most probably more exciting than ours. Nevertheless, we took a couple of shots for all of you here, just to share with you some snippets of our trip. For a more complete pictorial rendition, check out doppy's fb or better still, wait for me to share my Picasa album. :) Till then, enjoy the ones below.

Our little hut at Mayang Sari.

This is our room (duh!). I think doppy was 'pleasantly' surprised by it. The only time he had stayed in a beach resort was in Bali and he stayed in a five-star resort. Suffice to say, Mayang Sari was not quite what he expected it to be. :O I loved the bath tub though and had a splashing good time soaking all my tiredness and anxieties away.

A shot captured while we lazed outside on the beach.

We took a set lunch at this Japanese restaurant on the first day. It was a very good lunch and the presentation of the food was impeccable. The set lunch came in a 3-tier bucket/barrel? and the layout of the food was exquisite. It also tasted very good and all in all, it only cost us $25. Where to find such good deals in Singapore?

Satu ...

Dua ...
Tiga ...

and the full spread for both of us!

Al fresco dining ...

... for obvious reasons.

Dinner on the first night at the kelong.
Facing the huge sea, you cannot help but feel calm and serene.

汪洋中的一条船。

Another al fresco dining experience. This was at the Thai restaurant, Baan Aarya, where the setting and ambience was unbelievably romantic and the food was good too. Unfortunately, there were only two of us and after we went crazy with the crabs on the first night out at the kelong, we had to be more prudent with the amount of food we ordered here.

Our tour guide for our 'adventure' out at the mangrove swamp.
His English is very good! See? I too am guilty of assuming that non-native speakers could not speak good English. Sigh.

Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream ...

Great shots by doppy on our mangrove eco-tour.

Lunch by the poolside. The pizza was great and the Bintang beer just made it purrrfect. :) We had two more drinks when we hit the pool cos there was a pool bar!

And so all the sandfly bites (why am I always the only one cursed with that? The last time I went on a dive trip with my friends to Redang, I am the only person who got the sandfly bites too!) and the intense missing of our uber-cute son were worth it. For it is only with a strong marriage built upon lots of love and affection between the adult meowmes that the little one would have a warm and safe litter to come home to.

Look out for my Picasa invite to see more of our pictures (those with us in them lah!).

Of F things ...

Nope. This is not a list of things that annoy the hell outta me (most recently, it would have to be my work laptop which is a total piece of crap but I can't even complain cos it is already the newest and latest issued in my branch!) but rather a post about fevers and furniture.

First off is xp's fever. Our little rascal went for his 6-in-1 shot (don't ask me what's in the 6 shots ... I am absolutely clueless!) on Saturday morning and that was the first time he ran a fever after getting his shot. We were guessing that it could be because the shot might have been too powerful. The poor tyke was completely knocked out from the shot and whimpered the entire day once he was left alone. Fortunately, the nurse had warned us about this and we were given baby panadol in anticipation of this situation. Xp was pretty strong. He only took one dose of the panadol and recovered in no time. I also count myself really lucky to have found a good help. F slept next to Xp the entire night just to monitor his temperature and make sure he's okie. The very next day, he was up and jumping again. This is the first time that xp is unwell since birth and both doppy and I could not help but be worried about him. We both had a sleepless night and our hearts were only at ease when we saw that he was okie. Indeed, one could not appreciate the love that one's parents have for them till one becomes a parent. I used to be a rather sickly child and in those days, as all children did, I hated to take my meds. Only now do I realise how worried I must have made my parents and grandparents then. Fortunately for us, xp took his meds without much fuss. It is indeed heartening to see him back to his usual chirpy self.

Well, the second F was ..... Furniture! That's right! Furniture! Doppy and I have received the letter from our solicitors (you know those bloooodddy bloooooodsuckers who charged us a couple of tens of thousands for stamping our documents?) that our new place is most likely to achieve TOP this quarter. :) We were so excited about this confirmation that we decided we should start shopping for our furniture never mind we had no idea the dimensions of our new place at all. For our current home, due to budget constraints, we did not really shop around for the furnishing but rather went with the most value-for-money pieces. Since our new home is going to be a more permanent residence, we have both decided to splurge a little bit more on the furnishing in view of a longer-term investment. :P Doppy was really sweet and did some research before taking me out on window shopping in certain ulu parts of Singapore where there are more furniture warehouses than there are vehicles. :P So far we have seen pieces of furniture that we would like to have for our balcony but the prices are not quite agreeable to us. Oh well ... we should probably still have some time (afterall we have yet to receive our keys) to shop some more and I think this coming weekend, we will be exploring other parts of Singapore. I fully intend to indulge myself in this round of shopping, not in terms of splurging, but rather enjoying the process of look for bargains and all. We are both very excited about our new place and could not wait to move. Our dream is to spend Christmas in our new home though it might not materialise. Oh well ... one can always dream, can't one?! :)

How To Keep Him From Cheating

What did you find was the No. 1 reason men cheat?

I think most people ascribe to the theory that men cheat for sex. Women are being told that unless they are unbelievable sexy and have a Ph.D. in prostitution education then the husband is going to cheat. But when the results came in [from my study] only 8 percent of cheaters said that sexual dissatisfaction was a primary contributor [in cheating] and only 12 percent said the mistress was better looking or in better shape than their wives. It really started to show a completely different pattern than what most expect. In fact, the majority48 percentsaid that the cheating was about an emotional disconnection. What was causing this emotional disconnection? The No. 1reason was feeling underappreciated. It was a lack of thoughtful and kind gestures. What I found is that men are far more insecure than they let on, and they do want to please their wives and feel valued. They like to win and as long as they are winning with their wife then they stay in the game. It is feeling underappreciated and like they can't winand maybe they do things that make it hard for her to appreciate himthat usually leads them into dangerous waters. Appreciation is what they first and foremost get from the mistress.

You said women make a mistake in thinking, "If I appreciate him, he'll never change." Why is that a mistake?

Women are always worried that if they are really nice to him, he will just take it in and not do anything. Well, men generally do want to give, and appreciation motivates them. If you appreciate your husband for the next week, and he asks what's going on, then it leads to a positive conversation where you can also share what you want. You're taking the lead and modeling the behavior that you desire in your spouse. This relationship between "appreciation" and a man's need to "win"how does that play out in the home? Just watch your husband view a ballgame. You would imagine from the way he's yelling that he has part ownership in the team he's cheering for. That's because men have been trained since they were little that winning and accomplishing is much of their definition. So they will watch a game to the bitter end if they [or their team] can stay in it. [In the home,] for example, if the husband makes breakfast and burns it, he still feels like he made a gesture. But if those sorts of gestures are met with what he did wrong instead of what he tried to do right, then that becomes, "I can't win." What sort of behavior will a man exhibit if this leads him to start thinking of cheating? The No. 1 sign is more time being spent away from home. The No. 2 sign was less sex, and the No. 3 sign was avoidance of your contact, like cell-phone calls. What these things are saying is that a man is emotionally and sexually moving away from a spouse.

How should a wife address this?

When you see these things happening bring it up in a positive way. Ask him, "Do you remember when we were dating? I want to get back to that. I don't want to wait until the kids are in college. I want to have some fun." This is all about empowering women. There are a lot of marriage books out there that give you a hundred things to do. They're all pretty good if you have time to do all hundred. I'm suggesting that you look at the signs that are going to mean the most and then do something about them. Don't do what so many of us do, which is hold our breath and hope [the problem] goes away. What can couples do to get a relationship back on track and sustain it? I talk about having four 45-minute periods of uninterrupted time a week where both turn off their CrackBerrys and they just spend time alone talking or playing board games or reading. They should also have one night a week where they do date night. It should be the same night every week, so get a babysitter ahead of time, and do not talk about three thingsmoney, business or the kids. Everybody always says, "Well, then what are we going to talk about?" I say, "I don't know, but I promise that when you were falling in love you weren't constantly talking about the stresses of money, business and kids. If you did, you would not have gotten married. It's not what got you here, and it is not what is going to sustain you." I also suggest something that bothers a lot of women and that's locking your door at night. I'm talking about after the kids are settled in, and it's not necessarily to have more sex. The idea is just to say there is a space for your marriage that does not include everybody else.

How To Keep Him From Cheating | Print Article | Newsweek.com

Interesting read.

The article brought to mind a remark made by one of my colleagues the other day. When she found out that I have been married for nearly half a decade (hehe .. that's only 5 years lah! 'Decadising' it just makes it sound so much longer!), she said that it didn't seem that way to her. She thought that doppy and I were newly-weds and had at most clocked in 2 years of marriage.

I jokingly asked if it was the childish ways we act with each other, the constant ribbing and bickering that we do. :P

Just the other day I shared with einna that after 4 years plus of marriage and 5 years plus of being together, I still feel the same towards doppy. In many ways, our love and relationship have in fact strengthened from our shared experiences and the fights we have had to resolve due to misunderstandings or insufficient communication. I am thankful that after so many years, I still feel this way about him.

This is just a little post to remind myself that while it's so easy for the little one to wriggle his way into our hearts (honestly, he doesn't even need to try!), we must still make time for each other. For when the little kitty leaves the litter, the adult meowmes will still have the rest of their lives to spend with each other.

Pleasant Surprises

Both Doppy and I have been so caught up with xp that we have both clean forgotten that it was my birthday on Tuesday!

I only remembered it when my colleague, my former HoD, showed up at my door to pay xp a visit and brought along a little present for me on Monday. When she told me that she got a birthday gift for me, that was when I did a mental '*piak forehead* Right! It's my birthday tomorrow!'.

Apparently on that same Monday, my girlfriends were checking in with doppy if he was taking me out on Tuesday night. His classic response to Phoenix was, 'Err .. I don't know. Check with lovebell? She plans my social calendar' and she went, 'Huh? You mean she's planning her own birthday dinner?' and doppy went, 'Oh SHIT! Now you make me feel so bad for not noticing it's her birthday tomorrow!'. Technically, he did not forget my birthday. He's all psyched up about taking me to choose a handbag for my new job which he wanted to get for me for my birthday present but I traded that in for my new spectacles. It's just that nowadays, our days just seem to fly by without our noticing and it honestly did not strike the two of us that Tuesday was 10 June and it was my birthday!

And so it was, on Tuesday late morning that (one of??) my pals' present arrived for me on my doorstep!

A lovely bunch of flowers to brighten my day. I love the colours of the flowers! And yes, the gifts of facial masks are most pragmatic and useful. I shall endeavour to start a facial care routine.

A close up shot of the quaint watering can that the flowers came in. :) I will definitely take this to my new home and replace the real flowers with everlasting ones.

This is my favourite picture. The composition is very nice, si?

(All shots are compliments of Petals!)

For the record, I have never had flowers sent to me before (those that are sent to hospitals do not count) and this was totally unexpected! The delivery of the present was soon followed up a surprise turnout for lunch at my place by Phoenix, Hello Kitty and Petals! Hello Kitty got some simple but most delicious fare from the Ghim Moh Market and we all had a great time catching up over food at my coffeetable. It was with great reluctance that Phoenix and Hello Kitty had to go back to work while Petals and I went gallivanting in town for some retail therapy.

I then met up with doppy for dinner and we decided to go and explore the restaurants at Central Mall. Initially doppy wanted to take me for a nice buffet dinner but seeing as how I still can't take seafood as yet, there was really not much point in blowing so much monies on food that I could not enjoy. Central Mall had my favourite Japanese restaurant, Waruku, but since I refused to be teased by Yogi for being unadventurous and boring, we had ramen at a new shop that we have not tried before. Our verdict? We still prefer the ramen that is served in the hole-in-the-wall at the building next to Orchard OG but it was still a pretty good dinner. We then indulged in sinful expensive dessert at a Japanese dessert speciality shop. Thereafter, we went for a nice spin at Holland as doppy wanted to find this really elusive dessert place that he originally wanted to take me. Though we did not manage to find the shop, I thoroughly enjoyed the car ride with him. It is very rare nowadays for us to have some couple time alone what with a baby and a domestic help at home. And that night when we hit the sack, he gave me one of the best presents he could. :)

My pals are gathering at my place this Friday (or not ... I haven't quite decide if I want dinner in or dinner out!) to have a 'proper' get-together and sing me a birthday song officially. I am looking forward to that! :) Now .. what shall I wear that night? Or is this another valid reason for me to go shopping again? :P

A Most Eventful Saturday

In the morning, we took xp for his immunisation shot at the polyclinic. It has been ages (and I really do mean ages!) since I last visited a polyclinic. And gosh! It has changed so much. The polyclinic is no longer the dingy place that I remember it and nowadays, you can even make appointments in advance. I was very pleasantly surprised when I received an sms reminder about xp's appointment. The polyclinics have really come a long way. Having said that though, it is still jam-packed with people who do not see the need to go to a GP and are there to see the doctors. As it was our first visit, not only did xp had to have his shot injected, he also had to see a doc and that took some time.

While waiting for our turn outside the room, it was really quite frightening. There were children of all ages there for their immunisation shots, be it compulsory or voluntary ones. Surprisingly, the ones who howl the loudest are not the infants but rather the toddlers! I guess the infants just do not know any better and once the pinprick sensation is over, they actually pipe down cos they do not remember the pain. The toddlers on the other hand remembers the pain and would begin bawling in earnest when they are taken into the room again for the nurses to check the injection site for they have begun to develop a phobia for the needle. XP took his injection relatively well, giving only a loud yelp and some crying at the point of the injection. Perhaps the dosage was not a really powerful one too as he only took one shot of Hep. B. But we were glad that he did not go on to develop a fever or turn cranky.

It was also very reassuring to know that xp was growing well and in all aspects of his growth, he was the 75th percentile on the growth chart. Initially, we were a little concerned about whether we were feeding him enough. As I am trying to get him to settle into a pattern, I tried to time his feeds and if he fussed before it was time to feed, I would actually not give him his milk. Doppy thought that it was rather cruel of me for he could empathise with xp's sensation of feeling hungry very well (I also refuse to give doppy food if he has had a big dinner but still feels peckish come supper time. You can also tell very easily who our son takes after in terms of his appetite!) and was worried that I was starving our son. We were also a little worried as our son did not seem to experience 'pong-ni' (涨奶) and have his cheeks and limbs all puffed up from drinking milk. Our son actually looks rather lanky and he is definitely a far cry from the Michelin babies that one is used to seeing. So we breathed a sigh of relief when the weighing scale showed us that he was 5.2kg (GOSH!) and he now lies along a length of 61cm. Since xp is our first child, we also have no idea what constitutes normal or average and could only recall to the best of our memory how PJ Junior looked like at his age to serve as a gauge. And so we were happy to find that our son is developing well and he's a healthy baby.

After the very busy morning, we then rushed to IMM for doppy to get a new pair of spectacles. If you have not realised it by now, he damaged his very expensive Armani (or was it another brand?) pair that he is presently wearing playing soccer at work. The frame was distorted beyond salvation and thus he needed to get a new pair. It was also while we were browsing for his frames that we stumbled upon a pair of rimless ones for me. :P Since he had not gotten me a birthday present yet, I sneakily convinced him to pay for my spectacles as a birthday present for me. I'm looking forward to collecting our spectacles.

Thereafter, it was another mad rush to drop xp at my grandma's place before we headed down to Hort Park for PJ and Darth Binky's 5th Wedding Anniversary Celebrations. The place was very picturesque and both doppy and I thought it was a most lovely place to hold private functions. It was also there that I broke my teetotalism as the call of Brewerkz IPA was too strong to resist. It has been so long since I had beer and no matter how hard I tried to nurse my cup of beer, I downed 2 cups of beer without an hour or so. Bearing in mind that I am still breastfeeding though, I had to throw away my cup to prevent me from getting refills. The food that was catered from Lavish was very scrumptious and both doppy and I had many helpings despite us going for a wedding dinner later on that night. The lovely couple with their lovely daughter were great hosts too and I really enjoyed myself catching up with my girls who I have not met for a while. Twas a pity that we had another wedding dinner to go to and hence we did not take xp along with us for the anniversary celebrations and we also had to leave early. It did not help that we were attending the wedding dinner more out of obligation rather a genuine wish to be there.

So pretty, right? Wait for me to upload the photos taken by Petals and invite you to view the entire album. :)

And so it was with great reluctance and regret that we had to give up good company, food and beer to troop to Raffles City for doppy's cousin's wedding dinner. Traffic there was sheer madness for not only did we have to contend with the shopping crowd, there were also 3 wedding dinners that were being held simultaneously! The line to get into Raffles City's carpark was insanely long and in the end, we did a most pragmatic thing and parked our car at Shaw Towers where doppy had season parking and took a leisurely stroll to Raffles City for the dinner. Doppy's brother had to pay $15 for valet parking to get a lot at Raffles City itself and we ended up being earlier than my mil even though we parked much further away.

The wedding dinner was nothing to blog about except that 1. the bride had 16 jie-meis!!! all of whom wore custom-made gowns! and 2. the groom was a very young VP-to-be at 27 years of age. Needless to say, the wedded couple were both scholars lah and doppy had a ball of a time poking fun at everything with his bro's girlfriend who has a most caustic tongue too. We of course had to leave the dinner early as we still needed to pick xp up from my ah-mah's place and it was close to midnight by the time we settled down for the night.

Apart from the wedding dinner that was more of an obligation than anything else, our day was a most eventful and enjoyable one. Xp's going for his three-shots jab in about 1.5months time when he turns 3mo and we hope that that will go as smoothly as this one did.

Stay tuned for my next post on how much monies I have spent on revamping my wardrobe! :P

What a weekend is like when you become parents

For all intents and purposes, the previous weekend is our first one flying solo (is there another phrase that conveys the same meaning?) as parents. Previously, we had our confinement lady with us and we did not really have to assume parental responsibilities full time.

And so on Saturday, we decided to take F on her orientation programme at my aunt's house and also to begin to set up xp's second home. After the usual routine of bathing, feeding and burping him (all of which was done by F), we spent about 45min packing the things we need to take to my aunt's place and the baby bag that was to last xp's excursion for the afternoon. This was also doppy's first time experiencing taking xp out without our confinement lady's help and capable stewardship and he was surprised at how long it took us to get out of the house.

We arrived at my aunt's place at around 1.30pm and immediately got to work in setting up xp's second home. Doppy unpacked the playpen and went about converting it into a bed for xp. I took care of the other baby paraphernalia such as setting up the milk-making station and bottles sterilisation corner. By the time we were done placing everything and xp was exploring his new environment from his new bed, it was 3.30pm. We then decided to let F fly solo on her own at with my grandma and we scooted off to Expo for the Robinson and Motherhood (or so I thought) sale.

When we got to Expo, we went for a quick bite at the foodcourt where the food prices astounded me once again. I paid $9 for two bowls of noodles and $5 for three drinks. Doppy was once again bemused at my reaction and took the opportunity to rib me about how I had lost touch with the outside world. After our expensive and not exactly satisfying meal, we went in search of the Motherhood sale thinking we could pick up some stuff that we would need a second set of for xp's stay at my aunt's place. Alas, I had apparently remembered the date wrongly and the event was to be held on the following weekend! We ended up at the Popular sale instead where doppy and I picked up 2 books at unbelievable bargain prices.

An interesting resource file that I picked up for $9.90!

Can you believe that doppy got this for $4.90 with an additional 20% discount no less?

We then proceeded to Robinson's sale where we finally got a new bedding set (yes, yes, we have survived on one set of bed-linen since our marriage. It's called the wonders of a dryer which allows you to wash and dry your entire bed-linen in 3 hours flat!), some porcelain soup spoons to replace the broken or missing ones in our drawers and baby sunblock for xp (even in shopping, he's constantly on my mind) amongst other things. When we were done at Robinson, doppy tried to tempt me with an evening out in town but the call of our son was stronger as I was afraid that we did not pack enough milk powder for him to last him for his feeds. And so it was back to my aunt's place we went to pick xp and F up before heading back home to take our dinner and turn in for the night. And this was only at 7.30pm on a Saturday night! In our not-so-distant days of couplehood, we would have only been meeting up with friends for dinner and movie in town. Now that we are parents and I have to do the graveyard shift (and the word 'graveyard' has taken on an entire new meaning for me. I literally feel like I want to drop dead and die on some nights!), we had to settle for a takeout dinner at home and hit the sack earlier as we had planned on taking xp to the park early Sunday morning.

Park, you ask, did you say park? Doppy? Go to the park? Where there is sun and other parents with their annoying children and prams? Yep, that's right. Doppy is a changed man now. If you recall, the last time doppy voluntarily proposed walking in a park, it resulted in a marriage proposal. Ever since then, he has never mooted the idea again. But now that he is a father, I think he's thinking of more wholesome activities for xp that would allow him to explore of the world that we live in.

And so it was on a Sunday morning that milord actually roused from his sleep at 9am! Sundays are typically sleep-in days for doppy and even when I was pregnant, I had to resort to beg for half an hour or so and promise favours of certain kind to make him wake up to take brunch (not breakfast, mind you!) with me. Now, he gamely jumps out of bed at the prospect of taking our son to the park. We thought of taking xp to West Coast Park where we could enjoy our cuppa while he takes in the natural air.

However, it occurred to me that 1. our son is an air-con baby and as excited as his father might be about the park, our dear son might not take to the heat so well and 2. West Coast Park MacDonald's is sheer madness on a Sunday morning and we are going to have trouble negotiating a pram around. We did not intend to take F with us partly because we want some family time alone and partly because I think she also needs some time away from xp to do her chores and regain her sanity. Hence, it was of vital importance that we venture out with xp to a place where he would be sufficiently comfortable so that he would not make a fuss and where we would be able to handle him.

Thus I counter proposed that we take xp to Vivocity where the aisles are wide enough for strollers and the place family-oriented enough for shoppers not to give us dirty looks should xp decides to howl. We spent close to 2 hours at Coffeebean and Tea Leaves taking our breakfast and reading the papers with xp in tow and we managed to change his diapers, feed him successfully (i.e. he did not vomit!) and prevented him from becoming too big a public nuisance. At the end though, doppy still did not manage to finish his coffee and I did not manage to finish reading the papers too. Though Xp was far from being the perfect baby as he did fuss a little when he wanted to sleep (there were many I saw, the ones who were contended in just lie in their prams and take everything in!), he was sufficiently good for us to survived our trip. We even went to Toys'rus for his dad to get a rattle to 'zhng' his pram. It is really so easy to just keep buying toys for the little tyke. I had to consciously tell myself that at this stage, he would outgrow 0 mths+ toys very quickly and we should not be buying too expensive or too many toys for him.

After taking him home and handing him over to F, we headed out again for our very late tunch at IMM where I promised doppy that we would pick up a couple of dvds to make up for missing Narnia with him (we had to give away the free tics he got for donating blood! :( as I did not want to make it a habit to keep leaving xp with F as and when we wanna go out). After our brief shopping trip, we came home and doppy decided that he wanted to watch Appleseed Ex Machina. Surprisingly, it was an anime that I enjoyed very much too. Perhaps it was because it was a Hollywood production and produced by John Woo and we had a hoot of a time identifying the scenes that were Woo's signature style. After anime, we broke for dinner which was dumplings that I bought from IMM and then we popped in another dvd, Mission Impossible, into the player. By the time the show ended, it was 11pm. Time for bed again.

And that was how our weekend flew us by. We went from folks who used to hang out in town and catch all the latest shows to stay-at-home uncle and auntie who watch reruns on TVs and old movies on DVDs. Can't say that we have gotten used to it yet as there were still times when we catch ourselves thinking if we could afford to go and 'modern' in town. Doppy said that it was me who could not bear to be apart from xp. Truth be told, I just did not want to give him over entirely to F for I would be extremely upset if he grows to be more attached to her than to me. Strangely though, the fathers (not just doppy, but most fathers) do not seem to have this fear or concern. They seem to take it for granted that the moment the little tyke is able walk and talk, they would naturally gain the tyke's affection as they would be playing with him/her. Perhaps it is the fact that he came from my body and I was the one who had carried him for 9 months. The thought that he would prefer another woman to me is unbearable. And bonds could only be built if we were to spend time together. And that is why no matter how difficult it is to care for him at night and how much I wish at times to just ask F to take care of him at night too, I remain stubbornly insistent that I would care for him at night. For that would be the only time come the time I go back to work when I would be able to hold him and cuddle him for a while and rain kisses on him.

I think I have rambled on enough. Come Saturday, xp would be going for his immunisation jabs. Stay tuned to read about our experience. :)

"Tell me again why we decided to have a baby?" - the mother's story

And so, doppy has given all a pretty accurate and humorous recount of our nights. His account however was in broad strokes and written in general terms. I shall now give you my version of last night.

It started well with our confinement lady helping us to put him to bed at about 10pm (right after doppy was done blogging the previous post in bed). His diaper was a new one (mental note to self: change diaper before the second feed in the night so that he would not vomit out the milk due to the movement) and he was full. He was fast asleep and if we keep our fingers crossed, he would be able to sleep till 12 plus 1am (he feeds every 3 hours if he drinks 90ml of formula milk per feed).

So it was to bed we went with some hushed hushed whispers of 'he's very cute hor?' and 'meowme, I love you' and 'I love you too'. I was just drifting off to sleep when suddenly .....!

Both father and son woke up simultaneously, one with an expletive and one with a whimper.

The big baby woke up with a nose bleed, and the small one needed his mid-night feed.

So the mum tried to sit up as quickly as I could but with the weak (or perhaps non-existent!) abdominal muscles from the C-section (oh! I have never realised that one needs those muscles to sit up!), I was unable to do so quickly and instead had to turn to my side and slowly pushed myself up.

By the time I got to the cot, the big baby had already ran to the toilet to prevent his nose blood from staining the bed and I could not depend on the father to soothe the baby. So I patted the baby, whispered words of lies such as 'mummy has milk. mummy will give you milk in a second' and proceeded in my groggy state to make a bottle of formula milk for him.

When I was feeding the bottle to the babe, the big baby had come back to bed. He apologised profusely for not being able to help but he needed to lie down as he was feeling faint. In between trying to get the little one to drink his milk and not vomit it out, I was trying to advise the big one to put his head between his legs to prevent more nose bleeding.

When I was finally done with feeding and burping the little one, I went to make some cooling tea for the big baby. After he had drunk it, he promptly went back to sleep. I then lay down to try to steal a few moments of shut-eye.

It seemed like just seconds when the small one whimpered again. So up again, I got up, checked the clock and it was only 2am. That was too early for his feed and so I checked his diaper and indeed they were full from his urine. So I changed his diaper for him, placed him on my bed, anticipating the next feed at 3am when I shall attempt to breastfeed him lying down.

And so it was with me lying semi-conscious next to the little one, humming the one and only lullaby I know while he fidgeted once a in a while. Promptly at 3am, he started whimpering again. I thought I could cheat him into suckling at my breast so that I would not need to get out of bed to make him his milk. Alas, my ploy did not work. His whimpering did not stop and he kept pushing my nipple out of his mouth with his tongue. To prevent his whimper from becoming a full blown wail and wake his dad who needs to wake up the next morning to go to work, I succumbed and got up to make him a bottle of milk.

After feeding him and burping him (did doppy mentioned in the previous post that it was a repetitive cycle??!!), I thought he was ready to go sleep. And so I placed him in his cot, hummed the lullaby (again!) and patted him to sleep. However by the time I was done with putting him in his bed, an hour and a half had passed from the beginning of his feed and because he had regurgitated some out, he was hungry again!

And so it was back to the milk table I went, made another bottle of milk and fed it to him again. While he was feeding, I sensed or rather heard him pooping again! But because he had yet to finish his feed, I had no choice but let him sit in his shit-soaked diaper to finish his milk. Immediately after he finished his milk, I changed his diaper. He pooped so much that he even soiled his pants and his lower back. So that took another 20min of cleaning up and wearing of pants and it was then I realised that his shirt needed changing too because he had soiled them with his vomit. And so I changed him and by this time, it was 4.30am. I placed him in his cot again went to the living room to express my milk (yes, I still need to keep to my expressing schedule). By the time I went back to my bed, it was 5.15am. He was fidgeting in his cot as he had not enter into deep sleep. He started whimpering again and I had to pick him up again to rock him to sleep. By this time, the little bird residing in the air-con compressor outside our bedroom knew the lullaby I was humming and started whistling the same tune! I kid you not! Initially I thought it was doppy who was whistling but since he was snoring, it could not be him. I swore that the bird was whistling the very same lullaby I was humming to xp!

By the time he finally allowed me to put him to sleep, it was 6am. And yes, you guessed it! He was hungry again because the last time he fed was over 2 hours ago! By this time, he was beginning to wail as he was frustrated from the lack of sleep and hunger. Dawn was breaking and mindful of him waking doppy up, I took him outside. Thankfully, by this time, both our confinement lady and help were awake. They both laughed at my pathetic state and took over the care of xp immediately. My confinement lady ushered me back to bed immediately and I needed no further encouragement.

And so it was at 6.30am that I finally collapsed into my bed and feel into a deep sleep. I slept so soundly, I did not even realise that doppy had woken up and gone to work. I had to sms him to ask if he kissed me goodbye for I had no recollection whatsoever!

Remind me again why we decided to have a baby?

Because in the rare moment when he gives me a most satisfied grin as he is drifting off to sleep, I feel an overwhelming sense of love for him and immense satisfaction and pride that I have managed to see to his needs.

And of course, whenever I look at him, I see a mini-doppy, and he is the proof that we both love each other and he is that product of our love.

That is why we have decided to have a baby.

"Tell me again why we decided to have a baby?"

No, don't be alarmed, neither of us are feeling suicidal or murderous. :)

It's just that, when you're desperately trying to get XP to calm down at 3.30am in the morning so that he will stop crying, so that he will feed, so that he won't be hungry, which is why he was crying in the first place, it can get to you. I asked this question to Lovebell last night and she replied, "Because we love each other" or something to that effect. I was delirious from lack of sleep then and might have misunderstood her. :P

Lovebell and I have only been looking after XP in our bedroom for the last three nights, and it has been challenging, to say the least. On the first night, we made many mistakes and Lovebell ended up changing his clothes three times within the night. On the second night, we learnt from those mistakes, and we ended up having a pretty "steady" night until 3.30am.

The thing about XP is his impatience. When he is hungry, he will start crying. And if he does not get any food within 5 minutes, he will start yelling. And when he is yelling, he will not feed. AND so because he is still hungry, he will continue yelling. And no amount of shoving the milk bottle in his mouth will get him to suck, because he is not yet sentient and can only react to stimuli.

The only way to stop his crying and get him to feed is to first calm him down. But no matter how we hold him, how we hug him, how we pat his bum, or sayang him, he will not stop yelling. Only in the arms of our confinement nanny will he stop. And it's not even like she holds him any differently, I think it's just a matter of chubby arms (or maybe confidence).

To cut a long story short, Lovebell and I tried to calm him down last night for 45 minutes to no avail, in the end, Lovebell succumbed and went to ask our nanny to help. Within 3 minutes of her holding him, he stopped yelling.

Sigh.

If you're wondering what his nightly schedule is like, here's a short summary.

As I write, the cycle is starting. He has started crying (not yelling, thank heavens) and the feed is beginning.

9.30pm - Feed
9.40pm - Mid-feeding burp
9.50pm - resume feed
10.00pm - Finish feed burp (IF NOTHING HAPPENS IN BETWEEN, like pooping or crying from uncomfortable gas)
10.15pm - Sayang for bedtime
10.30pm (if we're lucky) - Falls asleep

Depending on whether he poops or pukes, that will shorten the amount of time in between feeding as it reduces the milk in his belly.

If nothing happens, cycle starts again at about 12 midnight.
Finish cycle at 1am

New cycle at about 3am till 4am. This is usually also the time when his diaper will be soaked through and/or he's pooped so he needs changing. Oh, and when you change his diaper, the movement will cause him to cry, thereby interrupting the feed, and since he is still hungry, esp. if the movement causes him to puke up some milk. This is where we ran into trouble last night. He refused to go back to drinking after we were slow to burp him and caused him to cry from the gas problems.

After all that, at around 4am, he won't go back to sleep cos he's been asleep the last 8 hours, if you include his feeding time, cos he's half asleep when he sucks.

*Yawn*

Anyway, Lovebell was incredibly smart to start this on the Friday night of a long weekend so that I may have some time to recover in between. Hopefully, tonight we will survive this and that our love for XP (AND EACH OTHER) will continue to help us get through this.

Really, all that keeps us going is our love for XP, our love for one another, and pure adrenaline.

SO dear friends, please stand by us for the next 2 months ok? Donations of Illy coffee powder always appreciated. :P

The party was in his honour ...

but he slept through it blissfully.

His folks were awake since 0800hr (which was a feat for his dad on a Sunday) to prepare for the big day.

First to arrive was actually his grand aunt as she arrived earlier to cut his hair symbolically. His confinement lady could not bear to shave him bald on his big day so they only clipped a bit of his hair as a keepsake.

Thereafter, his aunt, his mum's cousin, arrived to coo over him. She insisted that he was the cutest baby on earth and kept snapping away at him with her mobile phone so that she could go to her company to show him off to her colleagues. His mum jokingly remarked to her aunt that her daughter should get herself hitched asap and have her own child soon. She also mentally reminded herself to introduce her to her hubby's single friends when they arrive later.

Then the moment arrived. At 1030hr, his nai-nai and ye-ye arrived. She practically bounced through the door, such was her excitement. She stopped short though when she realised that there were already guests in the house. His mum had forgotten to tell her mil that his grand-aunt would be there earlier to cut his hair. There was a moment of awkward silence as his nai-nai was at a loss of how to introduce the man who stood beside her. His mum saved the day by greeting loudly, 'Mummy! Uncle!'. His dad greeted 'Uncle' and promptly started disappearing into the kitchen.

Now that the initial introduction (and awkwardness) was over, he promptly took the centre-stage. His nai-nai promptly took out her gifts to present them to him. She bought him a gold anklet (which his grandaunt later unceremoniously remarked, 'Chay. It's such a small one. Your great-grandma and I will buy a bigger one for you, k?' All this was said in the presence of his dad no less who merely smiled bemusedly to himself at the hao-lian nature of his mum's teochew relatives) and gave him a red packet too. His nai-nai attempted to wear the anklet for him but she was either too overcome with excitement or had never worn an anklet before for she did not realise that the anklet was designed for one to latch it one at the appropriate length. She put it on for him by latching it from end to end and the anklet ended up dangling on his ankle. After numerous attempts she still did not succeed in wearing it properly on him. Fortunately, there were help at hand and his dad helped him to put on the anklet correctly.

Then the drama unfolded. She promptly wanted to carry the baby and was really excited about holding him in her arms. As this was her first grandchild, her excitement was understandable. His mum, remembering the phonecalls from the few days ago, promptly started cooing to him in her super high-pitched and loud teacher voice which could not be muted, "xxx, you see who have come to see you? It's NAI-NAI and YE-YE orrhhh.... Quick, greet YE-YE and NAI-NAI!!!!" (If at this moment, you are cringing at his mum's sluttiness, you have no right to do so, k? She chooses her battles and knows that there are some that are just not worth fighting over and she might as well put on a good show and make everyone happy.)

And indeed, his nai-nai was so happy that she was grinning from face to face. His mum also heaped appropriate praise of the anklet and took care to remind him that it was bought for him by his nai-nai. All this while, his great grandaunt and aunt were looking on the scene in amazement and trying hard not to turn to each other with incredulous looks. His mum had thrown herself so wholeheartedly into her role that she was oblivious to her surroundings.

His nai-nai then promptly attempt to THRUST him into his ye-ye's arms, all the while repeating ad nauseam, "Ye-ye, you hold him lah. You are finally promoted to the rank of ye-ye leh. Hold him lah, hold him lah."

His mum could not bear to watch any longer and sought escape. His dad came to the rescue with the camera and started snapping away. His mum played along too and promptly posed for pictures. Then it dawned upon her why he was so exuberant about being the photographer. By being the photographer, yes, you guessed it!, he did not have to be in the picture!!!!! His mum felt a sharp stab of betrayal and looked at his dad with incredulous eyes. Alas, he was too busy snapping away to notice the murderous looks that were thrown in his way.

Fortunately, he was a real smart baby. He promptly gave a wail to signal that he wanted his sleep. And so it was back to his cot he went.

His ye-ye also left a few minutes later before the rest of the guests arrived. By this time, his mum and dad were already tired out by the tension and awkwardness and all they wanted to do was wait for their friends to arrive and start enjoying the party.

And what a party it was. He was showered with gifts and hugs abound. Perhaps it was all the festivity that had tired him out but he spent much of his time either nursing at his mum's breast or sleeping. His dad had fun playing the Wii with his friends and his mum also relished the time she had to catch up with some of her friends whom she had not met for some time.

All said and done, it was a great party as his folks felt that they were really blessed with so many people who showered him with so much love and gifts. And so it was, with stuffed stomachs and tired bodies that they all retired to bed that night.

The above recount is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. :)

So don't say I am being mean to my mil hor?! :P

Baby Steps

Nope, I am not referring to XP learning how to walk ... yet. Rather it's the first day that I have experienced some sustained success with breastfeeding!

Since the beginning, XP has no problem latching on to my right boobs as long as we manage to catch him before he is really hungry. The trick is to get him before his real hunger pangs strike him so that he would be contended with my sloooowwww flow.

However, no matter what we did or how we cajole him, he simply refuses to latch on to my left breast. Initially, we attributed it to the non-milk flow as my left boob produces significantly less milk than my right boob does. So we tried to lure him with from the right boob first then give him the left one.

But that didn't quite work.

Then we thought that it was because my left nipple is shorter than my right one (yes, yes, some of you here are reaching new levels with me in our friendship with all these intimate details but motherhood has an amazing way of getting rid of someone's modesty!) and thus it could not reach the back of his mouth for him to suckle well. So I try my damnest to lengthen my nipple by way of expressing and physically TUGGING at it, resorting even to squeezing milk out before he latches on to try to tempt him.

But that didn't work too.

Just as I was going to give up in resignation, our confinement lady wondered, perhaps he only liked lying on one side and not the other. That would explain why he always broke out in tears when I changed the direction and made him suckle on my left breast. So she thought to change my cross-cradle to a football hold so that our silly XP would be tricked into thinking that he was still sucking on the right breast as he was still lying on the same side.

Whether he was really fooled or he was genuinely more comfortable lying on one side of his body than the other, the most important thing was, he latches on now! :) I have managed to successfully breastfeed him thrice today (an ACHIEVEMENT!) and at the last feed, he apparently drank so much of my breast milk that he could not finish his usual formula feed!

So yes! Patience and perseverance indeed pay off and having an experienced confinement lady who is pro-breastfeeding definitely helps! :) She was just sharing with me that she had one mother who had ample breastmilk but for some reason or other, chose to give her baby formula milk instead! And here I am, trying my darnest to get my milk flow going!

So yes, I just want to share my success with everyone and perhaps one day, if some of you are going through the same experience as me, hopefully, this post will serve to encourage you and keep you going!

Keeping my fingers crossed that my milk shall flow faster now and he will continue to latch on tomorrow! :)

P.S. If all I seem to blog about is my baby and my milk, it is because for these few days, that is indeed all that matters. I shall attempt to blog about more intelligent stuff when I regain some of my brain cells, yeah? :)

A Long Overdue Post - Part II

Once again, feel free to skip or skim through this post as it is primarily a post for myself more than for our readers.

The previous post concluded with our stay at the hospital and how appreciative and grateful we are to all the staff at Mt. Alvernia. I am truly glad that I chose this hospital to deliver my baby and honestly, I have nothing but praises for their professionalism and service.

Our first brave step into the outside world with XP took place on 18 April 2008, a Friday. Doppy drove the car round to the reception area to pick us up and by then, XP was beginning to make a fuss. The nursery nurse had accurately assessed that the thirsty little one would require his feed soon and looking at the two hapless parents, she took pity on us and gave us two bottles of formula milk to 'tide us through' in case we needed it.

Throughout the car journey, poor doppy oscillated between a F1 driver and an auntie driving on the left lane on the road. He accelerated in the hope that we could get home soon and attend to the WAILING baby and crawled along when I protest that his driving was throwing us around in the backseat and did not help my stitches a bit.

When we finally got home, the wailing did not stop. Given our very political family situations, we did not have anyone on stand-by at home. Twas just us with our helper, who was apprehensive about offering help due to our cultural differences. Our confinement lady would only arrive in another 3 hours or so and for the time being, we were left with a baby who was crying his lungs out and we had absolutely no idea what to do with him.

It took some detective work for us to figure out that he was crying because he was uncomfortable as he had pooped in his diapers. Now, prior to his arrival, yours truly, one of the most untidy person on earth, actually made an effort under the supervision of doppy and my friends to put away the baby's stuff neatly and ran through my checklist god knows how many times to ensure that I had acquire all the essential items. Inexplicably, when you had a crying baby in your room, a mother who could not move at will due to her operation, a helper who had trouble understanding what you want and a harassed father who was trying his damnest to calm the baby down, the things you need miraculously disappeared. We could not find the wet wipes we need to clean his bottom and resorted to using tissue paper. We could not find the diapers we bought and resorted to using the free sample packs that we collected from our antenatal classes and visits to the doc. Doppy was fearful of hurting the little one while he was changing him as he was still so soft and yet struggling with all his might against his dad. All I could do sitting by the side of the bed was to try to refrain from showing my impatience and kept on trying to encourage doppy by telling him that he was doing the right thing. After 10 minutes of struggle or so, we finally managed to changed his diapers and by then, the bed was strewn with things and the previously neatly packed room and cupboard were in disarray.

But the crying did not stop! Now that he was changed, he wanted to be fed. Remembering all my friends' and the lactation consultants' exhortations, I resolved to ignore his cries and took him into my arms in a bid to breastfeed him. All modesty was lost as I quickly pulled down my dress and with with one hand cradling him, I proceeded to massage my breast as the consultant had taught me. All this while, he was bawling his lungs out and his face was beginning to turn red. I grasped his head in my other hand, forcefully tilted his head, and jammed his head straight at my breast, all the while trying to put my nipple in his mouth. He was suffocated against my breast, and still his crying did not let up. His mouth was full with my boob in them, his nose was pressed against my flesh, his entire body was fighting to get away from me and still I refused to let go. I kept trying to have him latch on to my nipple, all the while chanting in my mind, he can survive 3 days without food and PJ and K said to be hardhearted and not to be affected by his crying. No babies have ever died from crying before and he won't be the first one.

But God, you had no idea how painful it is to watch this tiny precious thing fight against you with all his strength. His entire body was scrunched up in a ball as he gathered all his strength to push against me (and trust me, he was strong for a 5-day old baby), his entire body had turned red from his crying and what was even more heart-breaking was that we could hear his cries had changed in quality. He had run out of lung power to cry (by this time, he had been crying nonstop for almost an hour) and had resorted to using his vocal chords which were rapidly turning hoarse. Doppy was trying his hardest to be supportive of my breastfeeding effort but with the lack of an expert around to reassure us that it was fine, we both finally decided to feed him the formula milk that was given to us by the nurse.

By this time, doppy had received a call from our confinement lady informing him that she was already at the MRT station. You could not imagine our sense of relief. So while doppy was out getting her, I managed to cajole the baby by feeding him the formula milk. Yet the moment he finished, he started crying again. All this while, I was thinking, how long does it take for him to drive to the station and back? And at that instant, the door opened and to say that I looked upon our confinement lady as the saviour was an understatement.

Our confinement lady saw the distress we were in and immediately took charge of the situation and the wailing babe in my arms. Miraculously, the moment she carried him, he piped down and was lulled to sleep. She was really nice to us but commented that we need to be able to differentiate his cries and know which ones to ignore and which ones needed immediate attention. She said that his crying was excessive and was beginning to hurt him as his cries were turning hoarse. You had no idea how much guilt plagued doppy and I at that moment. For the rest of the day, we both wondered how much damage we did to our little tyke but not being able to meet his needs.

When we lay in bed later that night, we both started asking ourselves if we were fit to be parents. Doppy was feeling really useless ever since the confinement lady came since she took over everything and what was worse, she kept asking for things that we did not have - We bought too few mittens; the sleepsuits we had were too big for him; huh? you mean you did not have big towels that you could wrap him up with?; do you have baby lotion?; aiyoh ... this bottle is too big lah .. he could only drink from this when he's older ... you only have these two small ones ah?; hmmm ... we need to get a few more things leh .. etc etc. Doppy was sent to buy things on numerous occasions and still there were times when he bought the wrong items. Me? I felt like a complete failure as my milk refuses to flow and though the confinement lady was really supportive of breastfeeding and tried very hard to help XP latch on to my breast, inevitably he would break out in tears and start wailing his lungs out whenever I tried to let him suckle at my breast.

That night, we hugged each other and tried to console each other as much as we could. We both shed tears of frustration and helplessness and even more out of a sense of failure. We both want the best for XP but we were really clueless. We began to wonder, how will we be able to take care of him?

Thank goodness our confinement lady took care to reassure us that we were like this as it was our first child. XP is also slowly settling down under her expert care and I have tried to get my milk flow going by expressing my milk every 3 hours. Though there were times when I really feel like giving up, doppy's support and kind words kept me going. My entire life now revolves around when I need to express my milk and doppy has been woken up religiously at 4.30am each morning as I had to express my milk between 4-5am in the early morning.

Though the confinement lady and my helper are my life-savers, I honestly would not have been able to preserve my sanity and emotional well-being without doppy. Throughout these few days, he had been nothing but most obliging and gave nary a care to the monies he had been spending. A mere trip to the Chinese medicine hall to get the stuff to cook my confinement food set him back by $200. Diapers and milk powder for the little one another $100. A baby monitor and miscellaneous stuff another couple of hundreds. But it is not all about the monies. Those of you who know doppy would know that he was used to being waited on hand and foot by me. He nary had to care about household stuffs as I used to take care of them. Suddenly, overnight, he had to run the household as I was not up to it and to compound that, he had to live with 3 women and had the same food day in and day out. The house is like a stuffy greenhouse as I must avoid draughts and all the windows are kept tightly closed throughout the day. His only reprieve was when we go to bed cos that was when we could turn on the air-conditioner a little. But even then, he had to sleep next to a stinky meowme who was forbidden to bathe till she gets her clearance from the doc regarding her wound and had to contend with the low humming of the machine and the hissing of the breast pump at 4.30am every morning. Yet despite all these, when he had to make a trip to IMM on the second day to get more things for our little one, he took the trouble to buy me a diamond pendant to show his appreciation for me and encourage me on my breastmilk pumping efforts.

With such a loving husband and a strong and healthy son, what more can I ask for?

And so it is that I give thanks to the Lord for the two men He has given me and the blessings He has showered upon me. I have done absolutely nothing to deserve it but it is with His Grace and Love, that I am blessed with my husband and son.

Praise you Father Lord and with all my heart, I give thanks to you.

Amen.